Snowy Road

(This is the English translation of the first post in this blog, and the first short story I have ever written:) )

Alone walking down the road ….surrounded by the snow from both sides, filled with both fear and courage…..fear from the unknown and my courage as I know that there is no way to go back …Long way it is.. but…what else can I do ??

Dragged by my heavy feet, and feeling that things definitely won’t be that bad, many sons of my village have taken this way before me….It’s true that I haven’t heard from them, but still it’s enough that they didn't die here.

The taste of the white snow in my mouth, my eyes can’t see anything but the snow along the horizons…as if there is no color but the white…patience, the way is getting close to its end…..I remember the past few hours, my memory goes back to a day before
Sitting watching my hair falling in front of me…..I have never experienced
anything like this before so forgive my fear, my few years in life didn’t give me many experiences as you know. I walk out of the barber’s and the sight of the sharp
razor is still sparkling in front of my eyes, and I see her………..over there next to the
cypress tree as she always did ..feeling shy I get closer to her -I wonder what does
she think of my bald head?- I can see now the tears sparkling in her eyes “Won’t I
see you after today?” …

My mother says there is no way back, only few seconds and my tears will fall down
from my eyes…..I don’t want to cry. maybe I won’t see her after today “I can’t forget
you “.
I run towards the house before I surrender to my weakness, I remember how many
nights we spent throwing snowballs in front of her house with our friends…how can I
forget her…or her tearful eyes, like the waves of the sea.
I walk through the door with trembling steps. I see my mother preparing supper “you
have to sleep early tonight” .but I want to spend more time with my little siblings …..I
will miss you all so much ….but my tongue refuses to move ….If I said a word. all my
hidden tears would flow down from my eyes……I put my head on the pillow and don’t feel anything after that. I drown in a deep sleep, to wake up on my mother’s tremors with the lights of the newly born morning …..”It’s time to go away”. I won’t resist my tears anymore ……she takes me into her warm hug……she knows that this is the last time “I will go to get some milk by myself, mom” she knows I want to go to say goodbye to my pet….I have always taken care of him even before he could stand on his legs I will set him free before I go ….Now go wherever you want to go ,I take what my mother have prepared for me in a small bag.. Not to disturb my smaller body during movement.

Starting the journey and last night’s memories don’t leave me….I will never see her
again . I take a look over her small window as I walk through her street…maybe now you are in a world of your dreams, maybe I'm with you in it, throwing some snowballs with you….then on my long way from the village to the mountain, I have always planned to explore you with my friends, mountain… but it never came up to my mind that I will walk through your meanders alone one day…
I wake up from my thoughts to see the yellow copper door…..So high you are, door
that I can barely see the drawings on your upper side…..I knock on the door with my
small fingers, it gets opened for me by a monk who's just as bald headed as me,
very eminent are his bones…..maybe he opened the same door to all my fellows who
went before me ….I will see them today for sure ….I look back to have a final look on
the outer world….wait!…..this Lama over there….His face is really familiar……how did he walk behind me all this way from home and I didn’t notice?.. He’s hitting the rock by his hoofs to scatter the ice around it ….this is his farewell to me “Farewell Nan Chou……send my farewells to my mother, and to her” .